EMILY WHANG / NEXTGENRADIO
What is the meaning of
home?
Colson Thayer speaks with Liza Yaryshkina, a foreign exchange student from Donetsk, Ukraine. While studying abroad in Waukee, Iowa, Yaryshkina’s plans to return home were shattered after Russia’s invasion of her home country. Without a home to go back to, Yaryshkina remains optimistic about her future in America.
A Ukrainian exchange student finds a new home in Iowa
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For me my most important thing is like my whole family safe. So it’s okay. Like, I don’t really even want to go back there or I don’t miss it that much.
Hi, I’m Liza Yaryshkina. I’m from Ukraine and I’m 17 years old.
And I came as an exchange student here in September 2021
Before the war started, I was supposed to go back in May of 2022.
My home was really nice in Ukraine.
I actually came from like a region where it was already, like, a really bad situation. So when everybody was thinking that there’s gonna be a war, I wasn’t believing that because everything was already bad for me.
It was like, evening here and it was like, early morning in Ukraine. So I was like, ‘Oh, my God, like it actually happened.’
And I like tried to call my mom and she said, like, ‘oh, everything’s okay’. Like, I’m like, No, it’s not like go in the news. It’s not, and like,
Everybody, all my friends like all exchange students. We were like, exchanging news. And it was really exhausting that first week.
It was just a matter of time. So my mom and my brother they left first and then my dad left with like, after them.
They went to Georgia first, then they went to Turkey, then they went to Spain, because it was their final destination. But it took them like a month to do that. Because they didn’t really know what they were doing.
My parents, they always, like, wanted me to be happy with my choice. So like, they didn’t really force me to stay there, or they didn’t tell me like, oh, go back, we miss you. Like whatever I did, they felt good about it.
But me, like, I wanted to stay here because I didn’t want to be bothering my parents, while they were just like, just starting out in a new country.
I still keep in touch with them. We talk a lot and send each other pictures.
We make great connection between our two families, my parents have communication with my host parents, and my host parents, they treat me like their own child.
They really care about me, and they support me.
Yeah, my host mom, she likes to cook a lot. So sometimes she makes me Ukrainian food, or we make it together, or make food for them, like different traditional dishes.
They’re like my parents for life now. Like, I’m gonna talk to them till I die, I swear, because, like, it’s actually like a second family.
It’s like your uncle or aunt, like, you just know that they’re out there. And you can always come here, you know?
I wasn’t planning to graduate American high school.
I missed my graduation in Ukraine, of course. And that was kind of sad, but it’s okay.
Like, I got a lot of more new things here than I had there.
So it’s kind of like sacrificing what you have for something new.
You never know where you’re gonna be in five years,
Like I couldn’t even dream to, like, go into American college. And right now I’m going to American college.
Everything is possible. So that’s what I want people to know.
Nearly 5,000 miles separate Ukrainian Liza Yaryshkina from her family, but she’s learned new lessons in what it means to be home.
Yaryshkina came to the United States to study abroad in 2021. Her plans to return home were interrupted by Russia’s invasion of her home country. Yaryshkina has not seen her family or been back to Donetsk in almost two years. But she has found home in an unexpected place: Waukee, Iowa.
From a young age, Yaryshkina dreamed about coming to the U.S. She watched American culture through popular movies and TV shows and felt there was so much more to learn. Yaryshkina knew there were entire cities, countries and continents beyond her family’s apartment.
“I just wanted to see the world,” she said. “I didn’t want to stay in one place my whole life. I just wanted to see how other people live.”
Yaryshkina would finally be able to live out her dreams when she was accepted to the Future Leaders Exchange Program (FLEX). The highly competitive program allowed Yaryshkina to live with a host family overseas, at no cost to her family. After saying goodbye to her parents and brother, Yaryshkina arrived in Iowa.
“I didn’t expect Des Moines to be pretty small,” Yaryshkina said. “When you look in the pictures on the internet, (there are) big buildings. And it’s almost like a neighborhood.”
I just wanted to see the world.
Liza Yaryshkina sits outside her host family’s house in Waukee, Iowa. Yaryshkina previously lived in an apartment in Donetsk, Ukraine. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO
But she was less than impressed.
Yaryshkina struggled with comparing herself to other exchange students living in bigger cities in the U.S. and those who were visiting places like Disney World.
“I was kind of sad,” she said. “But at the same time, it was like, ‘Why am I sad? I’m in America, I was dreaming about it my whole life.’”
Her disappointment in Iowa was met with a rough beginning of Yaryshkina’s life in America. Even trivial things like navigating the lunch line at an American high school was a challenge.
Not to mention, Yaryshkina’s first host family was not a good fit. It added stress to experiencing a new culture.
“I was just crying the whole first week,” Yaryshkina said. “I (wasn’t) used to living like that because they had a completely different way of living. I just cannot describe it.”
Eventually, Yaryshkina was rehoused with the Johnson family in Waukee. She quickly developed relationships with people around her, including her host parents, her host siblings and friends from school.
Liza Yaryshkina sits in her host family’s living room, wrapped in a Ukrainian flag. One thing that reminds Yaryshkina of home is cooking traditional Ukrainian dishes with her host mother. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO
She began to feel a sense of home outside of Ukraine.
“My host family and my friends, everybody at school, they treated me like I’ve been living here for my whole life,” Yaryshkina said. “That made me feel so secure and I was really comfortable.”
But in January 2022, news spread about Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Yaryshkina was in denial at first.
“I actually came from a region where it was already a really bad situation,” she said. “So when everybody was thinking that there’s gonna be a war, I wasn’t believing that because everything was already bad for me.”
Yaryshkina called her mom to make sure her family was safe, and she assured her they were.
“They said that they were going to leave soon, it was just a matter of time,” Yaryshkina said.
Her family left their home in Ukraine behind. They fled, first stopping in Georgia, Turkey and eventually found themselves in Spain’s beach town, Valencia — somewhere they considered safe.
Liza Yaryshkina holds a Ukrainian flag outside of her host family’s house in Waukee, Iowa. Yaryshkina has been living with the Johnson family since 2021. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO
The Yaryshkinas’ building in Donetsk was bombed and damaged. Parts of the building, including the Yaryshkina apartment, were left standing, but other units were ruined. The family left their apartment to be occupied by another family in need. Although Yaryshkina spent much of her life in that apartment, she said she doesn’t miss it.
“My most important thing is [that] my whole family [is] safe,” she explained. “I don’t really even want to go back there…I don’t miss it that much.”
Yaryshkina, her natural family and her host family all agreed that it would be best for her to stay in the U.S.
“My parents, they always wanted me to be happy with my choice,” Yaryshkina said. “They didn’t really force me to stay there, or they didn’t tell me, ‘Go back, we miss you.’ Whatever I did, they felt good about it. But me, I wanted to stay here because I didn’t want to be bothering my parents while they were just starting out in a new country.”
Liza Yaryshkina looks at a photo sent from her family in Spain, showing the view from their apartment. After the war in Ukraine began, Yaryshkina’s parents and brother fled to Spain, in search of a safer home. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO
Liza Yaryshkina sits outside her host family’s house in Waukee, Iowa. Yaryshkina previously lived in an apartment in Donetsk, Ukraine. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO
For now, Yaryshkina plans to remain in the U.S. to pursue her education at the University of Northern Iowa.
“Eventually, if the war is over, I will go back because I want to rebuild [Ukraine],” she said. “But as for right now, I’m not feeling like I have to go back.”
All the difficulties over the last two years taught Yaryshkina a lesson about the meaning of home.
“Home is not where you are, it’s who you’re with.”
Liza Yaryshkina rests her arm on the kitchen counter, wearing a few bracelets with yellow and blue beads. Yaryshkina and her host family intend to hand out bracelets for those who donate at their fundraiser, Dreams to Degrees. July 11, 2023.
Colson Thayer / NEXTGENRADIO