YUNYI DAI / NEXTGENRADIO
What is the meaning of
home?
Tristan Alcorta speaks with Emily Billington, a resident of Des Moines, Iowa. Billington spent most of her childhood in an unstable home and foster care. She had her first child, Maverick, last year and is working hard to provide her son the safe and secure home she lacked growing up.
A young Iowa mother’s journey to create the home she never had
Listen to the Story
Click here for audio transcript
Emily Billington
[Fade in swinging noise from Maverick’s swing then lullaby (from swing) starts playing]
This is Maverick’s swing. We actually have this on 24/7.
[Swing continues. Lullaby changes to night time sounds (crickets, owl, etc.)]
It makes this noise and when I’m at work. It makes me feel like he’s here even though he’s at daycare.
[Night time sounds begin to fade out and end when Billington says her age]
I’m Emily Wilma Billington, and I’m 21 years old. And I have a son named Maverick who’s 10 months old and a boyfriend of two and a half years named Cole Weatherly. We live downtown in a little two bedroom apartment.
So growing up, I didn’t really have a stable home. I was in and out of foster care from like 12 to, I think, 14. So it was kind of a rough childhood. A home to me is secure and safe. I didn’t have that because there was always strangers running in and out [it] was not clean. I had a bunch of people there, but nobody that was really there for me as a kid, like no adult that I could talk to and trust. I felt like that was not home.
I found out I was pregnant in December of 2021.
I did not have plans to start my own family, actually. I was told that I could not have kids— the possibility of me having kids was rare. So yeah, I wasn’t planning for it at all.
So I started thinking about what kind of future I would want and what kind of future I wouldn’t want my child to have. Whereas before it was everyday, day to day, whose couch am I sleeping on? What bar are we going to? And instead of that, when you’re pregnant, it’s like what crib do I want to buy? Like, what stories do I want to buy to read my kid before we go to bed? And it’s just like a big change.
So Maverick was born September 5, 2022. The moment they laid him on my chest. It was, it was insane. And I’d like to say that it was like something that was like magical and lovely and like sweet. But for me, my personal experience, it was not. I was scared. So I was like shaking and in a lot of pain. So I do feel bad that when he was first born, I didn’t really get to soak in those moments.
Those first two weeks, I just think I had the baby blues. Like I was having a really hard time connecting with him. I was very depressed. So for those two weeks, everything I tried to do really was not working. But Cole, my boyfriend, he really stepped up and he took care of Maverick. And Cole would reassure me every day. Cole would be like ‘I got it. You’re an amazing mom. You pushed him out. Like, you did that for him— gave him life, kept him safe. So he, he would really help me.
So Cole would take the night shifts, and kind of the day shifts too, honestly. But there was one night that he was just beyond tired. So I had him in the swing most of the night. But he did wake up and I remember picking him up. And before, when I picked him up, he wasn’t really cuddly. He would just like fall back asleep. But this time he kind of snuggled up to my neck.
So that next morning we woke up and I was just like, “all right, what do you want to do today? I’ll take you off dad’s hands.” And then it was like an instant I love you type of thing.
I do document everything about him. I have his first laugh.
[Sound of Maverick laughing with his father Cole Weatherly fades in as Billington is saying that she has his first laugh]
[Laughing audio ducks and fades out as Billington continues talking]
First tooth, his first fall— everything that happens.
So becoming a mother has changed my understanding of home because it has made home more important to me, raising my son in a secure safe place. Making it a home basically, it’s a lot more important now because it’s not only my home, I’m making it for somebody else.
[Sound of Maverick making repeating “ga” sound and Billington saying “yeah” fades in and then fades out as Billington’s last statement starts]
Even if you don’t get raised in a homey, like comfort home, once you start a family, I feel like if you’re a decent person, you’ll be able to make a secure home.
Emily Wilma Billington didn’t have a traditional childhood. It skewed her perception of what a home is, but since becoming a mother, she has a fresh understanding of what it takes to make a home.
“Home to me just means a place that is secure and safe,” Billington said. “You don’t really have to be surrounded by friends and family to be home. It’s more of a feeling rather than a place.”
Billington is 21 years old and from Des Moines, Iowa. She lives with her boyfriend Cole Weatherly and their 10-month-old son Maverick Weatherly. Billington and Weatherly both work hard to ensure that their son has a good home to grow up in, whether it be buying new books to read to him, or disinfecting all of his toys.
Billington’s biological mother struggled with drug and alcohol use, Billington said. A relative adopted her before she was born. She grew up in a crowded house where strangers were in and out.
“I had a bunch of people there, but nobody that was really there for me as a kid,” Billington said, adding that there was “no adult that I could talk to and trust.”
Billington lived in youth shelters and foster care at 12 years old. In her teens, Billington said she was rebellious. She said an altercation left her homeless. So she moved in with her biological mother, who was now sober and married.
The two quickly became great friends despite not having much of a relationship before, Billington said.
I had a bunch of people there, but nobody that was really there for me as a kid.
Billington sits in her Des Moines living room in front of a wall filled with photos of her family.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
Baby shower decorations spell out the M-A-V of Maverick’s name.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
the two grew together
“That one year [of] me living with her was like the best thing ever,” Billington said. She added the two grew together.
Billington described her life before pregnancy as carefree.
That changed in December of 2021 when she noticed her period was late. She and Weatherly went to buy a pregnancy test at Walgreens, where she also took the test.
“I came back out and I’m like, ‘You’re not gonna believe this, but I’m pregnant,’ and then he was really happy. I was not happy,” Billington said. “I was very scared.”
Billington didn’t plan on becoming pregnant. She had been pregnant once before; however, she had a miscarriage nine weeks into the pregnancy due to complications caused by her having two uteruses.
This condition is known as uterus didelphys and it affects one in every 2,000 women, according to data from Scientific American. Women with the condition experience a “higher risk of miscarriage, preterm labor, breech delivery and decreased live births,” according to the National Library of Medicine.
Over the course of her pregnancy with Maverick, she had to visit a high-risk doctor every two weeks due to her health condition. She wore a heartbeat monitor to make sure Maverick was still alive.
A night light that normally casts stars and colors over Maverick while he sleeps illuminates pictures of the baby.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
Billington shows some of Maverick’s books.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
Maverick’s favorite toy rattles.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
Billington’s home life changed during pregnancy.
She had help and support from her biological mother. But Weatherly’s family was also around to help take care of Maverick after his birth last September.
Billington said Weatherly and his mom were especially helpful in the two weeks following Maverick’s birth, when she experienced postpartum depression.
“I just think I had the baby blues,” Billington said. “I was having a really hard time connecting with [Maverick].”
Luckily for Billington, once the “baby blues” passed, she was finally able to connect with her son.
“We just instantly clicked and everything’s kind of natural, like you know what to do,” she said.
maverick and billington grow together now
Photos from Billington’s living room collage. From left to right; Billington and Maverick with her boyfriend Cole Weatherly’s grandma; Billington holding Maverick; and a pregnant Billington with Weatherly.
TRISTAN ALCORTA / NEXTGENRADIO
Billington has learned a lot about how to care for Maverick in his first year of life. She said that when he was a newborn, he would sleep all day, but now at nearly a year old, he is moving around a lot more.
“He’s crawling, he’s about to start walking,” Billington said. “You have to be really patient because he knows what ‘no’ means, but I don’t think he understands that it means no. Like he knows no means don’t do it but I don’t think he understands why he can’t do it.”
One of the first things that guests may see when visiting their apartment is a collage of photos on their wall of Maverick and their family. Billington said her birth mom documented her childhood but had few opportunities to do so as she grew up. So for Maverick, Billington and Weatherly want to chronicle as much of Maverick’s life as possible.
“I don’t want to be like, ‘I’m that parent that misses the moment because I’m on my phone,’” Billington said. “I’m that parent that’s going to capture the moment because I’m on my phone.”
Despite growing up in an unstable environment, becoming a mother has taught Billington that as long as someone is a “decent person” they will be able to make a secure home.
“It’s a lot more important now,” she said, “because it’s not only my home, I’m making it for somebody else.”
Emily Billington’s birth mother holds Maverick.
Photo courtesy of Emily Wilma Billington.
Maverick wears a Hawaiin shirt and khakis and looks, in his mom’s words, “very handsome.”
Photo courtesy of Emily Billington.
If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum depression, visit the National Maternal Mental Health Hotline or call 1-833-TLC-MAMA.
More Resources in Iowa: